Watching your child hurt themself takes your feeling of helplessness as a parent to a different level.
Krishna had a horrible weekend, and so did his parents. He was in some pain that he couldn’t express.
How did he react?
By hurting himself. His head, his hands, his feet.
His doctors prescribed tests. They prescribed painkillers. They prescribed psychiatric drugs. They prescribed sedatives.
Desperate, I, who usually contest every prescription, gave him all the medicines.
To zero — or rather, negative — effect.
The worst part was that even the painkillers didn’t work.
And this is a parent’s worst nightmare: to be helpless in the face of their child’s pain.
The emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion are dangerous. They can easily lead to spiralling negativity or, worse, indifference.
It’s a terrible place for both the parent and the child to be in.
But you know, it isn’t very difficult to break out of this.
That feeling of being helpless? Of having no control?
I broke it by breaking the pattern of Krishna’s self-hurting.
“Krishna, you hurt yourself. Consequence: we have to run a round outside!”
And out we went, running in the moonlight and breeze. Krishna protested at first.
And then, he began to enjoy it.
“Krishna, you hurt yourself. Consequence: drink water!”
“Krishna, you hurt yourself. Consequence: dance!”
All of these were activities he didn’t want at the time. So they worked as “punishment” and broke both of us out of our spiralling.
Simple, really.
And yet, not.
But I reduced 60% of his harmful behaviour and we tired ourselves out happily. Enough to fall asleep peacefully at 2 am!
If I can do it, so can you!
Hello! I’m Gayatri, Krishna’s mother. I’m walking with my autistic son as he navigates life and teaches me to love, give, and be my joyous self.
If you have recently learnt that your child is autistic and you are struggling in the same journey, let me help you.
You can drop me a DM or reach me through my featured section.
PS: That’s Krishna in the pic. In his own world, at peace with himself when not in pain.